she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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