She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
