I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
