i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
