All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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