do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
