That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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