Can Purell be used as lube?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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