It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
