I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
