a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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