shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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