Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
