I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
