Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize