The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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