oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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