wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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