White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
