party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
