Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
