Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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