Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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