I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
