Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
