I don't think brook has ever known best
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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