Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
