My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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