Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize