You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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