she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
