Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
