im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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