Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize