We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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