Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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