i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
