this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
