I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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