Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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