You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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