so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
