READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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