im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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