margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
should my penis look like a turkey
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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