I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
