Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize