Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
