You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize