Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
