I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
