im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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