so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
