No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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