I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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