Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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