question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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