you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
