I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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