Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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