giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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