So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you would pick up someone in the library
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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